Dirty

Written by Jacob Ibrag

There’s a simple line that forms

in the fruition of every new year.

With the passing of each day,

this line leads us into a fork. Each

path carrying with it a choice

and consequence. You can either

choose a new way or remain stagnant.

Sometimes you’ll be led to a road

that splits into a variety of directions

and it all gets to be too much.

Overwhelmed with each possibility,

you close your eyes and sit in the

crossroads. Stomach clenched in

anxiety, you have no idea where

you want to be tomorrow, let alone

right this second. You begin to

question the path that led you here.

You want to go back, and then you

realize the road to yesterday was

erased from the last choice you made.

Pacing the amount of oxygen your

lungs take in, you try to calm down.

You’ve been here before, the last

day of the year. What started as a

clean path turned into a muddied

marathon. And that’s what all of this

is, a marathon and never a race. Like

breathing, time is involuntary and

limited. Measured in the forks of

everyday living, it’s what keep our

souls entwined with these vessels.

With the birth of the new year, our

slates aren’t washed clean like we’re

lead to believe by commercials and

advertising. We are every choice

we’ve ever made. We are every

consequence we’ve ever faced. We

are every obstacle we’ve ever

obliterated. Own the seconds that

brought you to your knees. Cherish

every moment and bask in reality.

‘I don’t want to be clean,

wash me dirty.’

---

Photography by Marta Bevacqua